On our way to pre-school this morning in Paris my 4-year-old and I witnessed quite a scene.

An irate driver with his windows down was screaming vulgar insults at the top of his lungs… seemingly directed at a man on the sidewalk. Mind you, at 8:30am.

The entire neighborhood seemed to freeze to look at what was going on.

The driver kept repeating a super vulgar insult (« … ta mère » / « … your mom ») followed by « I see you, don’t pretend you didn’t see me ».

Now, my 4-year-old has:

1. an incredible memory
2. a very fine ear because she’s fully bilingual

After this man’s loud shouts (near us, too), she kept asking me: « mom what is he saying? »

I had to do some quick thinking to save the day and prevent her from saying the same thing out loud.

Now, since the most vulgar part of the insult sounds exactly like « Nick » (the name), I told my little one: « oh the driver is mad at the man on the sidewalk right there. They know each other. He’s saying Nicola, Nick, I know your mom! Stop doing bad things or else I will tell her. »

It worked.

« He knows his mom? »
« Yes! And he’s saying if he doesn’t behave he will tell his mom. »

She just… bought it. Huge sigh of relief right there.

Yes sure, it’s a white lie - sorry - but I have heard a fair amount of small children saying horribly vulgar things (on the bus, subway, at the park) and I’ll seize any chance I get to prevent this for my little one.

I’ll happily take my little win of the day.

PSA: please don’t use vulgar language in front of children, they’re like sponges 🥲